My wife started saying I was going to become diabetic (even pure orange juice has loads of sugar). She’s going to nursing school, but I still kept chugging away. Then a few friends said the same thing, and I started to worry.

That’s when I got the idea to chug something healthy. I found the most healthy drink on the planet: Orovox. It has Acai in it (which I grew to love in Brazil), and a bunch of other crazy-healthy ingredients (Acai, Pineapple, Red Grape, White Grape, Pomegranate, Red Raspberry, Acerola, Aronia, Elderberry, Cranberry, Goji, Mangosteen, Barley, Cayenne Pepper, Buckwheat, Flaxseed, Alfalfa Sprout, Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Soy Isoflavines, Garlic, Wheatgrass, Green Tea, ALA, DMAE, Idebenone, Ascorbic Acid, Citric Acid)

I’ve seen people drink this with a wimpy shot glass. The myth is that it’s so concentrated it will make you sick or give you diarrhea (whatever!). I’ve been chugging Orovox for 6 months. I just like the taste, but if it’s going to make me live to 300, I won’t complain.

So here is how to chug Orovox

Step 1: Open All 4 Bottles (see my previous post)

Step 2: Drain all 4 Bottles into an Empty Milk Jug

Step 3: Refrigerate

Step 4: Chug

I’ve had 4 bottles of Orovox shipped to me for about 6 months. I LOVE the juice. To me it tastes like Acai, but I’m pretty sure it’s got some added health benefits.

BUT…Orovox is not easy to open , and there are four of them, so it can get kind of annoying. I had to invent my own method, which works like a charm.

Step 1: Slice the Plastic Seal

Take a bottle of Orovox and a serrated knife (I use a standard steak knife). Slice the seal at the bottom of the lid.

Step 2: Use Pliers to Finish the Job

I literally keep these pliers in my kitchen drawer for this purpose alone.

WARNING: Be gentle with the pliers! I squeezed too hard once and shattered the neck, ruining the whole bottle (I guess I could have taken the risk of Orovox with shards of glass).

Hidden Meaning of Current UVU Logo:

If that isn’t amazing enough, the second U creates the shape of Colorado, where UVU hopes to relocate one day.

After my post, to my astonishment, the president of UVU (Lester Tessy Higgenbothom) got in contact with me.

He said to me, “Dallin, help me restore the reflexive property to the UVU logo.”

I told him, “Tess, not only does the logo need reflection, it needs spirit.  It needs fury.  It needs the face of true-blue loyalty.  It may even need a new name.”

The New UVU Logo:

What in-the-name-of-all-that’s-holy is that little serif doing on that first U?  If it has meaning it’s occult, and nobody I’ve talked to “gets” it.  If it doesn’t mean anything, this is designer sabotage. Why didn’t they commit the same crime to the other U?  At least then we could understand it was your impaired stylistic choice.

Could someone please tell me the magical meaning of that disgusting knob?  If there’s not one, UVU students and faculty should form a mob, apprehend the guilty designer, and beat him with his own keyboard and mouse.