Construction of the world’s largest and most luxurious sleigh has finally been completed, allowing cruisers at long last to have balcony views of the North and South Poles.

“Land has always been trouble for other cruise lines,” says Captain Vanderehoofen of the virgin 5000 suite ‘Arctic Gem,’ “but we would watch such classics as ‘White Fang’ and say to ourselves, ‘We can do that.’”

And they have. Carnival’s newest “cruise- sleigh” grants stunning and upclose access to the most endangered and fragile environments on earth, without skimping on luxury, entertainment, and fine-dining.

Avid cruisers Clarke and Dawn Johnson of Houston were on the maiden voyage. “We were getting so sick of whales and dolphins,” said Dawn. “This cruise is definitely different. The buffets were probably the best ever.”

Clarke added, “Wednesday night’s show was an Eskimo ballet. Then we passed right over a real Eskimo village the next day. Very exciting! We’ve already planned our trip for next year.’

Environmentalist Jeremy Green warned of the impact of this mammoth sleigh, “We’re seeing endangered species drop dead at the mere sight. The few survivors fall into the deep crevasse which the ship leaves behind.”

Captain Vanderhoofen disagrees. “Believe it or not, we are greener than a Toyota Prius. The fuel for our crown sleigh is zero emissions: nearly 30,000 hungry wolves. They are self sustaining too; preying on the local penguin population.”

Controversial or not, that’s not stopping cruisers from all around the world to take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity; the sleigh is booked 16 years in advance. “We’re building 18 more sleighs just to keep up with demand,” said the over-joyed Carnival CEO Marcus Pierce. “By 2013 we’ll have overland sleigh routs in the Himalayas, Andes, and Alps. In El Niño years we could go from New York to Seattle.”

Name that Car Company:

(answer below…don’t cheat)

Answer

#1- 2006 BMW 5 Series

#2- 2007 Toyota Camry

#3- 2008 Honda Accord

If I were a car company, I would copy BMW too. Their cars are sexy. But you might think the #1 and #2 selling cars in the world (Camry and Accord) would have the balls and money to make their cars unique.

I agree with the phrase ‘imitation is the highest form of flattery.’ This, however, is forgery.

BMW’s are designed by Chris Bangle, who get’s a lot of flack on the web for his unique designs. A LOT. But Chris, if you haven’t noticed, everyone is copying you. It’s not just Toyota and Honda. American car companies, whose designs are ugly, but usually uniquely ugly, are following suite:

#1- 2007 BMW M3

#2- 2008 Pontiac G8

This one makes me sick. They go as far as COPYING THE EXACT PHOTOGRAPHIC POSE of the BMW’s M3. (posers). Notice how BMW added air intake on the hood and behind front wheel. They crammed a highly sophisticated V-8 engine capable of going 0-60 in 4.5 seconds which actually needs as much oxygen as it can get. Pontiac put the same openings on its G8 so that it’s standard V-6 can crawl 0-60. Great work Pontiac. Here’s an idea: maybe your next sedan shold copy an F-16 fighter jet. Even more idiots will think it’s fast.

There’s more. BMW’s M series cars comes with air intake behind the front wheel. These are BMW’s "super" cars. Ford (nothing more boring) is putting those standard on ALL of their cars. Ya, those new Ford Focus’ look really fast. I think they go 0-60 in…wait…I don’t think they can make it to 60. Jay Mays and Martin Smith, Ford’s chief creative officers, are two of Bangle’s biggest critics.

Anyway, this one is for you Chris Bangle. Don’t worry when Jay Mays, Martin Smith, and Dave Marek (of Honda) critisize your designs, because they’re just angry they didn’t come up with it first.