There are two places that’ll readily employ sixteen-year-olds in Orem, UT: McDonalds and Western Watts. Today, my former employer is charged by both the Romney and McCain Campaigns of Momon Bigotry. You may be surprised this could happen. I’m not.

It was the first job of my life. My friend JD had been employed for a few months and mentioned how mindlessly easy it was. If you can read a script on a screen, you’re hired (so I barley passed).

My job was to call Jiffy Lube customers and conduct a survey asking them to rate their experience. The supervisors were always listening in on your conversation; if you strayed from the script they had an interrogation room with a table and a tape recorder, just like 24. They’d play your conversation back to you, and say something painfully obvious like, “Is that you?” There is no habeas corpus for Western Watts employees.

I’m kidding. It actually wasn’t that bad of a job for someone who doesn’t want to use their brain. I’m sure when they make robots just a bit smarter Western Watts will clean out their teenage sweat shops.

The point is I’m not surprised Western Watts had the drone army in place capable of what McCain calls “outrageous and cowardly telephone calls.” Luckily, I’m free of their witchcraft, mostly because my lifestyle demanded more than minimum wage.

I agree with the fury of the Romney and McCain. Believe me, Western Watts may be capable of following sick orders, but this DID NOT originate from them. They were paid well. The question is…

WHO DID IT?

One thing is confirmed, the script that Western Watt’s zombies were reading is Evangelical “anti” doctrine. Like every religion, there are strengths and weaknesses. The weakness of the Evangelical movement is the idea that every church that is not Evangelical is a ‘cult’, ‘herecy’ or ‘sect.’ Not just Mormons.

Let’s not point fingers, because that could be a decoy. Giuliani was recently endorsed by none other than the Evangelical Superstar Pat Robertson, but there are a host of republican candidates desperate to gain some ground in this caucus-king-of-the-hill. I personally believe that OJ Simpson is trying to distract attention from his second high profile case, and he coerced Western Watts executives.